Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Mommy (AND Daddy) Track

An oldie but goodie. A friend sent this and said it should apply to HouseHUSBANDS as well... problem is... Mag could do a better job of it than I ever have. It's tough sometimes living with superwoman.

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and
3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play
two sports
and either take music
or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must

take care of his 3 kids
;
keep his assigned house clean
,
correct all homework
,
and complete science projects,

cook
, do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition, each man

will have to budget in money
for groceries each week..


Each man

must remember the birthdays

of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out
on time--no emailing
.

Each man must also
take each child to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make
one unscheduled and inconvenient
visit per child
to the Urgent Care.

He must also
make cookies or cupcakes
for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for

decorating his own assigned house
,
planting flowers outside

and keeping it presentable
at all times.

The men will only
have access to television
when the kids are asleep

and all chores are done.

The men must
shave their legs,

wear makeup daily
,
adorn himself
with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet styli sh shoes
,
keep fingernails polished

and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches,
and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or
slow down from other duties.


They must attend

weekly school meetings
,
church
, and find time
at least once to spend the afternoon
at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to
read a book to the kids
each night and in the morning,

feed them
, dress them,
brush their teeth
and
comb their hair by 7:00 am ...


A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size
and doctor's name.
Also the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear and
what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island
based on performance.
The last man wins only if...

he still has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.


If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over
and over again for the next 18-25 years
eventually earning the right
To be called Mother!


After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as you

think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can

handle it.
Just don't send it back to me....
I'm going to bed

We have nothing to fear, but inflation fear itself.

It's funny how ideologues see the world as binary. We are a flexible people. We can adjust on the fly. Our economy is a oil tanker, not a speedboat. We adjust as we go! So what if we overshoot the mark a bit and get some inflation later... we can correct it. We need to get some liftoff now... full thrusters Mr. Scott!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bring 'em here!

Man, if we can keep Manson in Vacaville, we surely can keep a few terrorists. Bring 'em to California and we can start a theme park around it.

Working with your hands.

This is a great article which goes a long way to explaining why working in the corporate world can be mind numbing.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Tomorrow's the day...

For the life of me, I cannot understand how you can deny rights to a set of people. I just don't get it. And it's embedded (for now) in our constitution. Crazy.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

End the madness.

(Thanks, Jean!)

Dear Folks --

In March, I went on Rachel Maddow's show and spoke three truthful words: "I am gay."

As an infantry officer, an Iraq combat veteran and a West Point graduate with a degree in Arabic, I refuse to lie to my commanders. I refuse to lie to my peers. I refuse to lie to my subordinates.

As a result, the Army sent a letter discharging me on April 23. The letter is a slap in the face. It is a slap in the face to me and it is a slap in the face to the soldiers who I have commanded and served with over the last decade.

I have served for a decade under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" -- an immoral policy that forces American soldiers to lie about their sexual orientation. Worse, it forces others to tolerate deception. As I learned at West Point, deception and lies poison a unit and cripple a fighting force.

That's why the Courage Campaign and CREDO Mobile are getting behind me today. And I'm getting behind them along with Knights Out -- an organization I founded to bring attention to the ways "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" undermines our national security.

I need your support. Please ask President Obama not to fire me. Click here to watch my recent interview on Rachel Maddow's show and sign the Courage Campaign's petition asking the President to end the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/DontFireDan

In the ten years since I first raised my right hand at the United States Military Academy at West Point and committed to fighting for my country, I have learned many lessons. Courage, integrity, honesty and selfless service are some of the most important.

That's why my discharge from the Army is so painful. I am not accustomed to begging, but I am begging President Obama today: Do not fire me.

My subordinates know I'm gay. They don't care. They are professionals. My soldiers are more than a unit or a fighting force -- we are a family and we support each other.

Will you support me as well? Please ask President Obama to keep his promise and tell Congress to repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law and support equality in the military. Click here to watch the Rachel Maddow interview and sign this petition to the President ASAP:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/DontFireDan

Very Respectfully,

Daniel W. Choi
1LT, IN
New York Army National Guard

Rummy and his Stradivarius

This is just sick, folks. Rummy played W with the religious angle. (and not that Bushie was innocent - just stupid.) I want to see those bastards on trial. Better yet, let's deport them to the Hague.

Here we fuckin' go...

See? The pix are coming out anyway. By O preventing it, it just looks like he's part of the cover-up. This is not transparency.

Trials.

There's no way out with this except for trials. The infection is spreading under the skin and will soon rupture. I'll post the sub links from this article as well. Trials. Only way out it through.

Momo's found her Mojo!

100% agree. Since we seem to be attacking all sorts of problems simultaneously, I think we should add this to the mix. I think before we can take the moral highground with countries all over the world (as we used to be able to) we need to clean our closet first. Just do it.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

THIS is the shite.

Awwwright, ladies and gentlemen - this is the SHIT that we pay Momo for. Not that bogus snarkette stuff that she's been hammering down our throat the past so many months. This is "Kill Bill" level shit. You go, Mo.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Stuff

This is just a GREAT video about stuff... pass it on.

Sweet! Time to get down with Iowa!

What a nice message of hope compared with that lame-ass NOM ad...


(Thanks, Carol!)

A Year in 46 Seconds

Thanks, Carol!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Kids Have Sex. Duh. Film @ 11.

I think Jenny is BANG ON on this. Ah sweet religion... ah sweet condemner of all that is good.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Too many people.

I was not going to put this Herbert piece up because it was A) too depressing, and B) more of the same. But he touched on something which I believe to be the thing that's the source of the problem. There's just too many damned people on the planet. And it's growing, folks. And I realize full well that my little family unit is contributing to the problem... what can I tell you: It's even hard for a liberal to pull the trigger.

Perhaps Agent Smith had it right...


Feed me, Dems... Feed me all night long...

Arlen is not unlike Audrey II. Without the teeth.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Sarah is putting her up to this.

Holy shit, this is uncomfortable to watch. I have to believe that Sarah is putting Bristol up to this because this girl does NOT look like she wants to be there.

As well, check out when the interviewer asks the uncomfortable questions and she looks up and to the left...

I mean just leave the poor girl alone.

I'd pay to be a fly on the wall in the Palin household for just a day or two...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

"What do you DO all day, honey?"

...only the most mind-numbing work on the planet.



Girl Power



"Bill thought he was President, too."

(Thanks, Vicki!)

Monday, May 4, 2009

John Wall's Divorce Proposal

I just stumbled on this letter and the replies. The letter first in text, then a link for the replies. While there have been other types of letters like this floating around the internet, I've never seen a more ignorant first letter, and more solid witty replies. If you want to see the original it's here.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know, we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but, sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.)

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everyone health care, if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe health care is a luxury and not a right.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum By Ya, or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots, and if you do not agree, just hit delete.

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall.
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda

And now to the witty replies. (Although I'm not sure I want to cede Oregon.)

US joins the World after eight years in the bunker.

Kids, it just does NOT get any better than this. Firstly, we had to elect a president that could speak the language. That is, English. Secondly, he couldn't be like the scarecrow in the wizard of oz. Thirdly, he had to be of the WORLD, not just the United States. We have a home run here, folks. And we're just getting warmed up. Welcome back to the world, USA.

Good luck clamping down on the banks...

More good news from Dr. Krugman. We should de-certify the financial K street lobbyists, seize (and I mean fucking SEIZE) the banks, clean house, and then turn them back over to the private sector with a SHITLOAD of regulation. Will that happen? Of course not. Money talks, and that's what the banks have. Our money, that is.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Yes, Enough with the 100 days.

Frank's got a good piece here. I think the Republicans must feel like we did in 2000, or even 2004. Only much worse. I think their overreaching only hastened their decline and drove them down to their 20% market share. They will be in the wilderness for a long time, especially after eating their own like McCain and Specter.

It's the work, Stupid.

There are days when David nails it. This is a wonderful piece of writing, and I believe the truth about success.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

What We Want

A very nice piece of poetry. Thanks, Tom!